I can't believe it's already been a month since I posted the first iteration of this segment. For that matter, I can't believe it's already been three months since I started this blog. To all of you out there who make up my regular readership, my sincerest thanks go out to you; you guys are the reason I put forth an effort to write original material and consistently post twice a week. That being said, I apologize for today's post being so late, hopefully my posting a regularly occurring segment named after a Spaghetti Western will make up for it. In all seriousness, though, thank you for the continued readership.
Thank-yous and dry wit aside, here are the BTJ Good, Bad, and Ugly for July 2011.
The Good: CPH Pro 2011
Some of you probably remember this post, in which I ranted from the metaphorical soapbox-atop-my-porch about these newfangled all-concrete plaza style street contests, and how they lack the kind of character of the good old wooden ramps, street and vert contests I had to skate ten miles barefoot through three feet of snow to watch. Well, on the one hand, I have watched the three stops of Street League up to this point this year, and have enjoyed doing so, as in all fairness the skating is of a very high level, and it is genuinely entertaining. That being said, I still stand by my arguments that 1) the all-plaza contest is not conducive to the current trend of all-terrain skaters, and 2) for the level of training and dedication required to skate transitions at a professional level, vert guys deserve more contests than they get.
Enter the 2011 Copenhagen Pro contest. I never, in previous years, paid much mind to skate contests overseas, save maybe the Bondi and Marseilles Bowl contests, but this year, by whatever strange pangs of curiosity (perhaps largely linked to doing "research" for the blog), I felt compelled to take a peek at the footage for this year's CPH Pro as it came trickling in though my various regular online skate news haunts.
Frontside Hip Ollie, CPH 2011 Bowl
The first thing that really drew my attention was Thrasher's edit of the bowl contest. It seems that bowl contests are really starting to overtake halfpipe contests, and maybe that's what ought to be happening; I mean, for one thing there are more skatepark bowls with vertical sections in North America now than thirteen foot tall vert ramps, bowl contests add a level of adaptability to the vertical contest circuit, as no two are alike, and although 99 times out of 100 a vert skater wins it, it is kind of cool to see the Runes, Pedros, Bobs and Buckys skating alongside the TNTs, Bingamans, and Taylors in the same contest. I think, though, past the actual skating in the contest, what caught my eye about the edit was the use of some fitting (read: 80s Hardcore) music. The individual who shared the video out on his Facebook page I think summed up many people's feelings about the music used in these internet skate videos pretty well with the comment "Minor Threat fits, not Michael Jackson..."
Frontside Hip Ollie, CPH 2011 Street
The next thing that really caught my eye was the layout of the street course, which really brings me back to the initial preamble of this section. Absent are the neck-high hubbas and fifty-foot long flatbars of Rob Dyrdek's Nyjah Huston show, instead replaced with a tight little L-shaped street course that's more Double Rock that Downtown LA. Apparently, the park designers got together and opted not to use California Skateparks' "let's make half the competitors soil themselves" model (possibly due to copyright restrictions), and instead thought that maybe a course that looked fun and enjoyable to skate wasn't a bad idea. And for those out there who still want to argue that this kind of layout isn't "real" street enough, take a look at the top three: 1)Luan de Oliviera, 2)Dennis Busenitz, 3)Chris Cole.
Your argument is in invalid.
The Bad: "Coolness"
Now, I know, historically speaking skateboarding has been far more elitist in the past than today: many pros have attested to the fact that these days you can get away with doing freestyle, or a footplant trick at a skatepark, whereas fifteen years ago such behaviour would result in sideways looks and hurled insults. So, why is it, then, that when Thrasher posts the now probably viral video of a kid doing an early grab backflip to 50-50 on a skatepark hip (yeah, you read that right) over half the comments on the video are negative?
Again, this:
Accompanied by such comments as:
...should have went in to fakie
gay
He's strapped to the board - that's why he back 3's so easily afterwards and stays stood on the board right to the end.
I like metal ramps and 3rd degree burns.
And my personal favourite,
Is this supposed to be cool?
Now, aside from the atrocious grammatical errors brought about by the ills of this generation, I really would love to know where these people get off, exactly, deciding what is and isn't "cool" in skateboarding. What's wrong, kids? Is it because the video doesn't feature Peter Hewitt or Burnside? Are you sad because you got made fun of for doing early grabs as a grom, and now you're transferring your own repressed feelings of inadequacy? Or maybe you just need to try to bully people on the internet to make yourself feel better because your two-mile-an-hour flatground hardflips don't look ugly, and now the big boys at your park won't count them in games of S-K-A-T-E. Whatever the modus behind it, we need to move past it once and for all, because if skateboarding shoots itself in the foot like this much more, how will it have anything left to push itself forward?
The Ugly: The X Life
Question: Have any of you out there reading this ever wondered what would happen if you crossed over one of those Real Housewives shows with the lives of three different action sports professionals? No? Me neither. Good thing no one ever brought that idea to fruition, right?
Oh, wait..... they did. And yes, it is awful.
Wait... Shouldn't you three be on TLC
or something...
You see, as per the aforementioned shooting oneself in one's own foot, there are a litany of stereotypes that anyone who actually cares about the health of skateboarding have been trying to shake for years now. The problem with shows like The X Life, as with most reality shows in general, is that the producers know very well that perpetuating the stereotypes inherent in the "cast" will lead to better ratings. As a result, once a week the same audiences, and their parents, who revel in such works of high art as Jersey Shore, Teen Moms,and Five Girls, One Gay, are treated to a half hour of a pro BMXer with a death wish and his ever-understanding, albeit clueless, girlfriend and kids, a pro motocross rider whose shrew of a trophy wife enables him to be an irresponsible man-child all the same, and an unassuming pro vert skater (Pierre-Luc Gagnon) who gives the impression that the only reason he's still with his psychotic loudmouth party-girl wife is because he secretly fears for his well-being otherwise.
Clearly an accurate representation of married life as a skater
Now, I'm not entirely sure where to begin here. For one thing, I want to point out that by no means do I know any of these people, and this initial impression of them is based on a heavily-edited twenty-odd minutes of footage that they are being paid to do. This, really, is the base of most of my gripes about the show. I am a huge fan of documentary, fly-on-the-wall type shows, such as the behind-the-scenes look at the offices of the webcomic Penny Arcade. Documentaries allow for the entire breadth of a person's or people's characters to show. In the case of shows like The X Life, along with every other reality skatesploitation pile of refuse that MTV has churned out in the past decade, the producers are not interested in realism, or documenting the entirety of their titular subjects, but are instead concerned with sensationalism. This, in turn, leads to a whole host of other issues. Skaters don't watch it because they know it's terrible, and oftentimes the skaters featured therein lose most, if not all their credibility within the fan-base. The people who watch the show, in turn, see little more that the perpetuation of the stereotypes that have haunted skaters and skateboarding since the '70s, and this, in and of itself, is not healthy for us. In short, these shows end up helping no one but the already-richer-than-you MTV executives, and I am left repeating my same plea from last month: Can somebody please get Stacy Peralta or Mark Jeremias on the phone and get some decent skateboarding back on the air?
Hi, my name's Brandon, and at times, I'm a professional skateboarder.
I'm sorry? Oh, no, I don't have a pro model board..... Yes, I am sponsored by a skate company...... Well, no... you probably haven't heard of them....
But, seriously, sometimes I am a professional skater. Not in my mind, not in video games, but for real.
Around the time of the Copenhagen pro contest, there was a video interview of Arto Saari posted up on the Transworld site, in which he tried to define that ever-so-delicate term in our business: "pro"
I can, to a degree, understand Arto's sympathies on the matter: the men and women who have pro models out with well-know board companies are some of the most gifted skaters the world over. Were it not for those few screens of ink forming a name on an internationally sold skateboard, there would be no delineation between Daewon Song or Chris Cole, and that local park hero who probably beats kids in SKATE for their lunch money so he can buy new boards. That would be like comparing Sir Ben Kingsley to that guy busing tables in Hollywood, hoping to land an infomercial gig, right?
Okay, so maybe I only name-dropped Ben Kingsley as an excuse to link this video...
And yet, say that actor lands that infomercial gig, and commercials end up becoming his livelihood, he's a professional actor, right? The poor guy may not be the next Ben Kingsley, but he is being paid to act. He doesn't need a production company to tell him so, and he isn't internationally known, but he is being paid to act.
Okay, so the acting world may be a little different than skateboarding, which can be considered an art as much as a sport. In terms of professional sports, then, what makes a professional golfer professional? There are literally hundreds of professional golfers the world over, who are simply good enough at golf to be paid for it, be it from sponsors, competitions, or courses where the pro might give lessons or seminars. He or she may not have a Nike driver with their name scrawled across it, but they are paid to golf, or teach golf, and are ergo professionals.
In the premier episode of Mike Vallely's Drive series, Mike talked with Lance Mountain, in which Lance said, succinctly, and with his typical humble wisdom, that a pro skater's job was to "make kids fall in love with skateboarding". To me, this has no bearing on whether someone has a top-selling board the world over, but someone who is paid to make kids fall in love with skateboarding, whether it be through giving lessons, doing demos, filming video parts, or getting in Thrasher or Transworld every month.
That's why I can say, comfortably, that I am, sometimes, a professional skateboarder.
